Internet, I procrastinate. Shocking, I know, but true. Being in college, of course, provides me with the opportunity to take my procrastination to a whole new level, but since I am going to graduate with honors or die trying, I always end up getting my work done, even if it is at the last minute. Recently, this has led to long stints in the library atoning for my sins.
A few days ago, I headed to the library and, needing to concentrate, I abandoned the main floor (home of study groups and computer users) and retreated into the stacks. The third level of stacks, to be precise. The books up there are arranged so that they take up the middle of the floor, and are surrounded on three sides by study carrels, all with locked doors.
I was roaming around the floor hoping to find a table when, tucked in an out-of-the-way corner, I found a miracle. It was a study carrel like all the others, except that it was missing a door. On the wall next to it, a sign that looked like it was made in about 1960 read “Open Study Carrel.” Magic, I tell you.
Naturally, I abandoned my search for a table and sat down in that little nook. No sooner had I started on my homework, however, than I heard a series of coughs from the wall to my right. This is only unnerving in retrospect, as I now realize that I’m not sure there is anything on the other side of the wall except air. Still, at the time I assumed there was another room over there, probably another study carrel. So naturally, I knocked out S.O.S. (the only morse code I know) on the wall. I thought maybe the person coughing would knock back, and it would be funny.
Unfortunately, I got a little more than I bargained for. I received a series of answering knocks, but not in any pattern. I knocked three times and received a series of disjointed knocks, seemingly random. (I think now would be a good time to mention that no one was around me in the library, so I was not inflicting my crazy on anybody except the mysterious person knocking back.) Then, more knockers joined in, coming from above and below. None of them every knocked in any pattern. They just knocked. In fact, at one point I considered the possibility that the library just had some very loud pipes, but I discounted that theory as I had not heard any such noise prior to the first time I knocked. Eventually, I was forced to conclude that I had awakened something very old and possibly evil that had likely lain dormant in the wall for years. There was just no other explanation.
Now, most people, when confronted with mythical evil, will just go and study somewhere else, but not me. I liked that study carrel too much, and I had to finish my homework. So I stuck it out, and for four hours I heard intermittent tapping. According to the intelligentsia, it was definitely goblins. I’ll tell you one thing- they are very persistent. The trick is to not knock on the wall like some kind of lunatic- then they won’t know you’re there. I know, because I went back the next day to do more homework, and heard nothing but the air conditioner… dun dun DUN.