My Sense of Direction- Called into Question

Dear Internet, I come to you today with an important announcement:

Staying put will no longer help me when I am lost.

I would know, because I’ve been lost approximately 47 million (give or take a few) times since I arrived on campus last week. As I ventured out of my dorm last Monday, the sun was shining, the temperatures were unreasonable, and I had to figure out where all my classes were. Besides various other misadventures, I somehow managed to get lost for an entire hour and a half while looking for College Algebra (I know, the difficulty of my course work is astounding). Besides adding credence to my theory that math desires nothing more than my suffering, this incident resulted in my discovery that keeping moving is the only way to get unlost on a college campus and, therefore, remain alive. Contrary to popular belief, there is no magic Directions Fairy; had I stayed put I would surely have perished somewhere near the agricultural science building, slowly baked to death by the unforgiving sun of the semi-arid plains.

They really ought to have covered this in drivers’ ed or something.

Ok, so maybe it's not QUITE this bad.

So, that’s one childhood myth debunked. However, the old warning to always look both ways before crossing the street has definitely stood the test of time. There are a multitude of streets here, filled not only with cars but also with cyclists, some of whom tend to believe they are above the law. To complicate matters, only about 50% of them stop for pedestrians at crosswalks, so at any moment crossing a street is like flipping a coin. Heads, you get to class. Tails, YOU DIE. Thankfully, in about a week my benevolent father is bringing me a bike, so I can join the ranks of the lawless cyclists. Outta my way, lowly pedestrians! Ahahahahaa!

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “My Sense of Direction- Called into Question

  1. Abigail

    They really ought to remove those bloody spikes.

    • M-Coops!

      Yeah, I think they should too. Hope Mary doesn’t go off the road and run into those things on her bike. I guess thats why they are bloody. Hey Mary, did you notice the name? Thought you’d like it.

  2. Kim

    Mary,
    I work in the Civil Engineering Building (shown here as the vast wilderness before you get to the bloody spikes). Next time you get lost, come sit in my cubicle under the air conditioning until you feel brave enough to face the scary world again. I could not help you find your Algebra class, but my boss does keep dark chocolate in his office, specifically to keep my happy, and I will share while I tell you stories about your mom. Kim Harris

  3. Danny Muñiz

    Too funny.

  4. A bike… great solution!! But I wonder if you will need a helmet… it looks like a dangerous place to be cycling around…

  5. Joel

    A bike? Your dad had a yellow moped scooter while he was in college. Did he tell you that?

  6. Joel

    A bike? Your dad had a yellow moped scooter while he was in college. Tell him not to bother dropping anything off unless it has a motor and creates greenhouse gases….

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