Summer is Like Living in a Moon Colony, Only Not as Awesome

As I think many of you will have noticed, summer is hot. Not just oh-let-me-take-off-this-jacket hot, but argh-I’m-melting-tell-my-family-I-love-them hot. This summer is particularly bad; according to a report from the field* (which is probably on fire by now) this is the hottest summer we’ve had since the Stone Age. Or 1980… I can’t remember which.

The point is, human beings can not be expected survive in these temperatures, at least not without complaining loudly. As such, most of us are on self-imposed house arrest. If we must leave, we dart quickly between the door and our cars, keeping to the shadows and venturing into the open only when necessary. The same is true for the other end of the trip- we may spend hours circling parking lots for a spot close to the door, in the vain hope that we will be able to avoid walking across the molten lava that is the parking lot. Above all, we protect our air conditioning with our lives.

This got me thinking about a world in which humans could not survive outside their specially built, climate controlled buildings. Naturally, my thoughts turned to our moon colonies, or rather lack thereof.

Don't ask about the blue hair. It's very fashionable on the moon.

Our ability to withstand harsh summers surely attests to the indomitable human spirit. Our hardiness is written in every sweaty t-shirt and lemonade stain. Plus, our dependence on air conditioning proves that humans have no problem living and going about their daily business only in certain, habitable places for extended periods of time (think of air conditioning as oxygen and you’ll get my point).

Considering all the facts, this can mean only one thing: it’s time to colonize the moon! Humans would clearly have no problem living the course of their lives in various moon buildings, venturing out only rarely and when properly protected. After all, at the end of the day is there really any difference between sunscreen and space suits?

NASA, I hope you’re reading this.



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